That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The maid of honor just puked.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
