he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
