Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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