so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we're making bets on your personal life
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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