i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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