Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
