so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
