last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
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just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
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I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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