dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
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it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
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The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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