Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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