There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
