Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
