If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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