One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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