I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
