How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
