I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Houston, we have a squirter
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
