so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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