I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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