so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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