I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
