So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
