and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
