theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
