just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
