I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
