If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
