I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dicks are not precious.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
