Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize