You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
