if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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