Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
