He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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