last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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