i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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