You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
