Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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