I think I died a long time ago.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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