im six kinds of drunk right now
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
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