chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
