take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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