I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
where are my eyebrows?
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