I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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