You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
