he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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