3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm really into asian looking animals
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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