You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
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