my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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