her vagine was all disorganized.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
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She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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