her vagine was all disorganized.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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