he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
