nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
