What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize