Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
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He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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