apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
