best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
