McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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