Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.

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(951): View more from California

I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved

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(513): View more from Ohio

Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar

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(206): View more from Washington

So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!

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(989): View more from Michigan

She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.

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